Awww….do I really have to eat that? My rantings, and ravings about how much I hate green beans, and other equally disgusting things



Code of rules to live by, or rather, eat by

1.) Never, ever, ever eat a green bean if there is a way to avoid it. Doing this allows the green beans another victory over you. You are stronger than that…you must say NO!!

2.) Always have an excuse for why you can’t eat green beans ready, before you go to dinner. Thinking on your feet (AKA not preparing an excuse, and making your self look like an idiot) can cause some problems. If you say to the waiter/host/hostess “I…ah…can’t eat green beans because…they make my…feet smell! Yes, that’s it!  Uh-huh. Well, thank you anyways, for offering!” then you either had a VERY hard time thinking of excuses, or you didn’t think of excuses. So, there is NO EXCUSE for not having a good excuse.

3.) If you avoid Green Devils, I highly recommend that you avoid mushrooms. They are nothing but fungus, and can cause great harm to you if  you eat them. Never mind the fact that they look/taste like space sludge a-la-mode. Ewww.

4.) If your host is serving”Mushroom and green bean casserole” I suggest you run for your life. Your host has either been abducted by aliens, and replaced by an evil mushroom and green bean loving clone, or they need to buy toothpaste that has less cinnamon flavor, because their current tooth paste is killing their INNOCENT taste buds. Oh the HORROR!

5.) You absolutely MUST, MUST, MUST click on the writing above that says What to do when encountered by a “Green Devil” AKA a green bean

Go on…click it! It’s right at the top, next to “blog”  I’ll be here….just click….  I hope you clicked for your own good….that page tells you everything you need to know about how to successfully avoid the GBs. You NEED to read that.

6.) Lastly, you need to check this blog EVERY DAY (or just sign up to get emailed when ever I have a new post) if you want to live to a ripe, old, GB-less age.

GB HATER

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: